i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just gift wrapped bread.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
