It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
