It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
