i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
