she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
