he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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