I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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