youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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