She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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