i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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