gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
