It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
