dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
