So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I will be naked everywhere
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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