you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
