So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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