OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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