Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
