Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
