this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
