I bet he comes in French.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
