you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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