Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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