He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
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