what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
