what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
