; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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