He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
