His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
How external is "for external use only"?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
