His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
