I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Randomize
