And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
