Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
