In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
sex in a hospital.. check
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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