Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
