I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
