you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I understand Curling. That high.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
