She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
