Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
