does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
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