He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
