Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
