No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
