I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I just googled if crying burns calories
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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