So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I wish i was in the wii world.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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