he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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