Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
