hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Randomize
