i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
