I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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