It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
