six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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