just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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