Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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