My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
