they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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