you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
