oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
