So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
