YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
